Approaches and Styles of Conflict

Contemporary Issues and Trends in Education

Conflict is part of working with other people, and how it is handled decides whether it damages a relationship or improves one. This chapter gathers practical approaches: naming the problem instead of blaming a person, speaking in I-statements, and two ways of describing conflict styles, the Thomas-Kilmann modes and their animal counterparts. It closes with a method for reading a conflict before you choose how to act.

Separating the Problem From the Person

Attack the shared problem, not each other: I-messages, needs, and brainstorming a fair fix.

Speaking With I Statements

Why ‘I’ calms a conflict where ‘you’ inflames it, and how to build a four-part statement.

The Five Conflict Modes

The Thomas-Kilmann model: five modes on the assertiveness and cooperativeness axes.

The Five Conflict Styles as Animals

Turtle, shark, teddy bear, fox, and owl: balancing your goals against your relationships.

Analysing a Conflict Situation

Map the five elements, read whether it is escalating, and use the basic skills.